“Lowering Standards for HER”

The things I hear just in passing from people having everyday conversations, blows my mind sometimes. The crazy thing is if people will say those things in public, I can’t imagine what they talk  about in private.

I was scrolling on Facebook the other day, passing through the normal shenanigans on my timeline, when I saw someone’s comment on a post. The post was a meme of a plus size woman and a male of average build. The quote under the post said, “This is the kind of woman I want to come home to every night.” As you may know, as you scroll down your timeline you can see a status/post and the first or last comment under it. The comment I saw said, “Okay man, so you lowered your standards?”

I found that comment very interesting, not because of who said it, but because I was wondering how many other men feel that way about dating a plus size woman. How many men are dating a plus size woman currently or considering it, but is thinking “I had to lower my standards to date this woman.”

Why are plus size woman looked at so low on the totem pole, where dating a big beautiful woman is a downgrade? Simply because plus size women have a belly, thicker thighs or larger limbs we’re a downgrade. Forget the fact we can cook, are loyal, have a good heart, and can prolly teach you a trick or two where it counts 😉. Nope, most men are too stuck on the fact that our stomachs are not flat and our thigh gap isn’t wide enough.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you have to be attracted to plus size women. It is fine to say a plus woman is not your type, but it is disrespectful to say someone downgraded because they decided to date a plus size woman. Trust me if you have to question if being with someone makes you look bad or makes it seems as though you have low standards, then it’s probably best for the both of you if you don’t date them at all.

Stretch Marks

Those silent but deadly paths that flow in different directions over our body. Why are they looked at with such disgust? They show no mercy to shape or size. You can be big, small, male, female, curves, no curves, mother/mother-to-be or no kids at all and still have stretch marks.

God forbid you wear a swimsuit, crop top, or sleeveless shirt and you reveal those wavy lines. Society has caught us, in those instances, to be embarrassed and insecure, but why? They are simply another indent on our skin no different than a birthmark or childhood scar. Would you go around concealing every scratch or scar on your skin out of embarrassment? Would you hide your birthmark because you are ashamed to be judged?

If you are comfortable with who you are then be the first to accept and own all of yours marks, scars, and so-called “imperfections.” If having stretch marks is someone’s excuse for not being attracted to you then it wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Nobody is perfect, but no seriously NO BODY is perfect.

First Day In (The Gym)

“You need to lose weight,” they said.

“Your health is important to you, isn’t it?”

So you go to the gym and try to step your healthy living game up. That first day goes one of two ways:

1. You walk in, look around, size up the machines and take a deep breath. You plug in your headphones and dive in. You jump from machine to machine and rock it like a pro. You convince yourself you can do this everyday; it’s not so bad.

OR………

2. You walk in to a somewhat unfamiliar place. You notice all the other people who are clearly regulars and realize you about to stick out like a sore thumb. Already somewhat intimidated you enter the gym and begin to workout. Although you are unconsciously worried about who’s watching you, you continue to exercise. As the end of your workout nears you question how often you plan to return.

I would say when I joined my gym, it went more like number one. I walked in and knew I was there for me and my health. I put my headphones in and tuned everybody else out. I worked at my own pace and figured out which machines agreed with me lol.

When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle you have to go at your own pace. No one should intimidate you because living healthy is not a competition, but a way of life. So kudos to you, whomever you are, for loving yourself enough to be better. Oh and remember to love yourself at every stage of your body.

Internal or External Attraction

Internal or External? Which do you pay more attention to when you are first getting to know someone?

Facecard

Naturally if someone is physically appealing to us initially they have our attention. For some it’s the eyes, the windows to the soul. For some it’s the combination lips, smile, and teeth. But wait, hol’up….are those dimples 😍😍😍. You can’t forget about the facial hair because I am a beard lover all day. Well trimmed and groomed facial hair is a must, but hey some like it wild. For men, I would hope for women you prefer a blank canvas lol.

Body Type

As we move on down and zoom out for a second, we move on to the body. Do you prefer short, tall, big, small, curvy, skinny? I personally don’t have a preference as far as big or small, but he just has to be able to handle me. I am not a skinny woman, so you have to have a nice build, not the overly exaggerated body builder type. I say pick someone who compliments your body type, unless someone else steals your heart or attention first.

Mind

Now let’s zoom in and I mean way in, that’s right we moving on to intellect. What that mind do? Lol The way someone thinks, how they speak, how smart someone is can be very vital to how they appeal to you. I want a smart, educated man, but not a know it all. I want a man who stands for something and can explain why if asked. Who doesn’t want somebody who can teach them something and take them somewhere mentally that they never been before?

Listen we all look for a cute face, bomb body, intellectual mind, and smooth personality. Which one sets the tone for you?